One Hat to Rule them All
by Black' Victor Cachat
Summary: Made some connections between the king scenes from Lord of the Rings and One Piece, and this collection of one-shots were born! Merger of the two for fun. Some scenes from the Hobbit films too.
1. The One Hat

I do not own either One Piece or anything by Tolkien.

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One Hat to Rule them All

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Chapter 1: The One Hat

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 **This will be a series of one-shots, with the roles and situations portrayed by the characters changing from one chapter to the next. Enjoy!**

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The tall imposing figure of the Garp the Grey loomed out of the dark inside the Hobbithole, "Is it secret!? Is it safe!?" he demanded of the pink haired and bespectacled boy. Prodded forward by an unyielding hand, Coby led the wizard to the chest where he kept the strange gift from his eccentric uncle, not noticing how his usually fearless mentor was looking warily about, snapping his focus towards the slightest sound. As soon as Coby found it, a raggedy old straw hat, the giant of a man snatched it from his pudgy hand and threw it on the kitchen table.

With earnest eyes the wizard plopped a piece of cooked meat on top of the hat and stepped back. After a few moments he gestured at his companion, "Pick it up." When Coby hesitated Garp just glared and barked, "Pick it up! It should be perfectly safe." Not reassured, Coby still obeyed, and as he held it up, Garp stood up and stepped away, staring into the darkened house as if he dared not even look at the object of his foreboding. "What can you see? Can you see anything different?"

"Nothing," Coby answered as he turned his uncle's hat over in his hands. "There's nothing." Garp gave a relieved sigh, and smiled for the first time in far too many days. "Wait," Coby corrected himself hesitantly, for fiery symbols were appearing around the red ribbon that encircled the hat, and Garp froze with dread at what he _knew_ what would be said next. "There are markings. It's some form of writing, I can't read it."

Grim resignation clouding his face, Garp forced himself to grind out, "There are few who can. The language is that of the Poneglyphs, which I will not utter here," he continued as he finally turned to look back at Coby, eyes burning with mixed emotions.

"Poneglyphs?"

Towering over his young friend, Garp turned his full authority upon Coby, eyes filled with horror and hate, "In the common tongue it says: 'I will be the King of the Pirates'!"

 **XXX**

Garp was sitting at Coby's kitchen table now, drumming his fingers while Coby poured some tea, constantly flicking his eyes at the hat that was beside him on the tabletop, reassuring himself that it was not doing anything. "This is the Straw Hat. Worn and empowered by the Pirate King, Monkey D. Luffy, in the fires of the One Piece. Taken by the Three Admirals from the head of Luffy himself."

"Bilbo found it," Coby breathed out as he started to understand his beloved uncle's past behaviour during his travels, "in Buggy's cave."

His voiced tinged with regret, Garp nodded, "Yes. For sixty years, the Straw Hat lay quiet in Bilbo's keeping, prolonging his life, granting him unfathomable luck, yet also a reckless sense of adventure," he looked askance for a moment, "which in hindsight explains that bit with the dragon…" He shook himself, and then continued as he returned the full force of his gaze upon his host, his tone becoming increasingly earnest, "But no longer, Coby. Evil is stirring in the New World. The Hat has awoken. It's heard its Captain's call."

"But he was destroyed. Luffy was destroyed," Coby argued, speaking with the surety of one raised upon those stories since childhood, but deep down he knew that this giant of a man would not be so afraid – _And I've never seen him like this before_ — if the story had ended there.

Suddenly both pairs of eyes shot back to look at the Hat, neither one wanting to be the one to ask whether the other person had also heard a faint voice whispering from it, as if reacting to the sound of its Captain's name.

Forcefully pulling his attention away after staring for too long, Garp looked back up. "No, Coby," Garp answered with dread. "The spirit of Monkey D Luffy _endured_. His life force is bound to the Straw Hat, and the Straw Hat survived. Luffy has returned, along with his core crew." Horrified, Coby met the wizard's eyes once more as he learned more and more about the true state of the world with each word that Garp growled out. "His Grand Fleet has multiplied. His ship the _Thousand Sunny_ is rebuilt in the New World. Luffy needs only this Hat to cover all the seas with a second pirate era. He is seeking it, seeking it, all his thought is bent on it. The Hat yearns above all else to return to the head of its Captain. They are one…the Hat and the Pirate King. Coby, he must never find it."

 **XXX**

Tears of terror fell from Coby's eyes as he and Helmeppo backed away from the gathering figures in black cloaks, only the power of the mysterious white-haired man ranger named Smoker keeping them at bay, but it was clear that the man was struggling. The sheer _presence_ of these unholy beings was like a physical force that beat down everyone around them, telling them to submit or perish.

And in desperation Coby put the Straw Hat on his head.

Strength and confidence roared through his veins, the knowledge, the _certainty_ , that he could handle _whatever_ he faced!

The world had become brighter to his eyes, hues of colour and glistening light that had not been there before under the stars and moonlight. For the first time he truly understood what a marvel— what a _privilege!_ –it is to just travel the world and gaze upon its wonders!

And the Nazgul, the crew of the Straw Hat pirates, were revealed before him, showing what lurked beneath their black shrouds. At first they were tall and proud, beings of beauty and wonder, but then they were horrific and alien to behold, shifting between this and more with each passing second. _It's like how I view them, as monstrous or inspiring, changes from one moment to the next, as if my very perception of them alters how they appear to me_ , Coby realized with wonder. As one the Nazgul turned to stare at him, wearing the Hat of their Captain, the fire in their eyes growing, and Coby knew that they were growing stronger for every moment that he wore it. That he needed to end this now! "I'll take them!" Coby roared as he charged forward, even as Smoker desperately yelled for him to stay back, while the lead member of the Nazgul gripped a sword in his teeth.

 **XXX**

"Stupid rookie!" Smoker snarled as he worked to get the injured Coby to Marineford and sanctuary. He had driven off the Nazgul at last, but deep in his heart he knew that they had only retreated because they felt it was unnecessary to continue; that with the wound that the Pirate Hunter had inflicted, Coby would slip evermore into their power if enough time passed without the boy receiving proper medical aid.

 **XXX**

Lord Sengoku turned to address everyone within the council of those allied in opposition of the pirates, "The Straw Hat cannot be destroyed by any craft that we here possess. The Hat was made in the secret fires of the One Piece. Only there can it be unmade. The Hat must be taken to the end of the New World and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this."

 **XXX**

"Are you sure about this, Captain?" Nico Robin unobtrusively asked, while some of the other crewmembers looked on in concern.

"Yeah," Luffy answered from his special seat on the _Sunny_ 's figurehead, annoyed that without his Hat he had nothing to block out the sun from his face while he was napping.

"Don't worry Robin dearest," Sanji reassured her, "it's a _pirate's_ hat, they won't want to use it as a weapon. Even if they could at that."

"Idiot Cook's right," Zoro agreed, "they'll want to destroy it, and they can only do that here."

"Which means that even if we can't find them first, they'll eventually bring it back to me anyways, shishishishishi," Luffy concluded with a cheerful smile, sitting up to look at the mass of ships that blotted out the sea itself for as far as the eye could see.

 **XXX**

 **Author Notes:**

 **The part where Coby actually wears the Hat was actually inspired more by Dr. Who with the 11** **th** **Doctor.**

 **I wanted to do more with this, but unfortunately there are only so many decent marines suitable for taking on the roles of the Fellowship. Smoker was supposed to be Aragorn and Tashigi as Legolas though.**

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	2. King of Gondor

I do not own either One Piece or anything by Tolkien.

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One Hat to Rule them All

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Chapter 2: They will answer to the king of Gondor.

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Aragorn, son of Arathorn walked through the doorway as he answered the summons while probing ahead with his Haki, welcoming the distraction from the grim truth before them: they lacked the strength to defeat Sauron.

His host, the aged yet still formidable King Fukaboshi of Fishman Island looked up as the revolutionary entered, and then turned to look at the room's sole other occupant, "I take my leave," he said respectfully and then left. Aragorn hardly noticed as his senses recognized who the visitor was.

The figure was wrapped in a dark cloak, foregoing all of the utilitarian chairs and furniture in order to stand in the shadows. _Shadows which weren't there before_ , Aragorn noted. _Doubtless I'll find that he broke a lightbulb while waiting for me or Fukaboshi, for both the drama and because he knew that none of the guards would dare impede one of the Nine. One of the Straw Hats_.

Some of the Nine had opted for a quiet and peaceful end, feeling that they had earned it, only crushing those who had tried to disturb them before their eternal slumber. A few had welcomed the hordes who had come to claim the glory of killing a living legend, seeking a warrior's death. Instead, they had been disgusted to learn that even crippled and half-dead from age there had been none alive who could even make them bleed to death. They too had passed on in their sleep, between journeys to find challengers or some other army to slaughter that had not yet fled from their wrath.

This person was the last of the Nine. The one that to this day no one could kill.

"My lord," Aragorn softly said with a bowed head.

"Now, now, no need for that," the voice softly scolded, the familiar tone of his mentor calming the revolutionary even more at the sound, before growing serious. "I come on behalf of one whom I love. Arwen is dying," and Aragorn's head rose up in horror at the mention of his beloved, Princess Arwen, daughter of the late Queen Vivi of Alabasta. "She will not long survive the evil that now spreads from Mordor. The light from the Evenstar is failing. As Sauron's power grows, her strength wanes. Arwen's life is now tied to the fate of the Ring. The Shadow is upon us Aragorn, the end has come."

"It will not be our end, but his," Aragorn whispered defiantly.

"You ride to war, but not to victory," the old pirate warned, his words taking upon that chilling, ominous tone that he alone could muster. "Sauron's fleets sail to Minis Tirith, this you know, but first he is finalizing his plans to bring all of the world's Devil Fruits under his control. His greatest lieutenants are scouring the globe, harvest the powers of the greatest warriors upon the seas. You're outnumbered and outmatched, Aragorn. You need more men."

"There are none," he rasped out.

"…There is the New World."

Aragorn froze as he felt something whisper across his soul, in shock, refusing to acknowledge how he had been gazing in that direction before. "Murderers. Traitors," he whispered in dread and denial. "You would call upon them to fight? They believe in nothing. They answer to no one."

"They will answer to the King of Pirates!"

And then the ancient warrior pulled out from nowhere a hat. A straw hat.

Tarnished by age yet reverently repaired countless times, Aragorn would have known it anywhere. For no one had ever been able to duplicate it: the aura that its past wearers had left upon it that made it glow for a moment in the hand of its guardian.

"The Straw Hat, crown of the Kings of Pirates, passed down by trusted crew members tasked with finding one worthy of earning the right to bear it."

From the shadows the figure now stepped, his face devoid of flesh and deathly white, his eyes empty sockets that were empty as the pit, and his afro a dour black. Yet for all that he still wore about him a mantle of kindness, wisdom, and power.

"The man who can prove himself worthy to wear this hat, can summon to him an army more deadly than any that sails these seas."

Brook reached out and put a gentle hand on the young man's shoulder. "Put aside the revolutionary. Become the pirate you were born to be. Take the path through Fishman Island, and beyond."

 **XXX**

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	3. Straw Hat Fellowship

I do not own either One Piece or anything by Tolkien.

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One Hat to Rule them All

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Chapter 3: The nine Straw Hats as the nine members of the Fellowship

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"Any luck yet, Robin?" Luffy groaned out of boredom.  
"I'm sorry, Luffy," the archaeologist answered, "but we haven't figured out the password yet."

"It's a real stumper," Usopp agreed, his brow furrowed in thought, "even for someone like me."

Nami was just kicking the stone door in frustration, ignoring how neither Luffy nor Zoro had been able to make a dent in it.

"Well, what's the riddle then?" Luffy asked. He was seriously that bored.

"'Speak friend, then enter,'" Sanji growled as he relit the pipe those Hobbits had kindly given him, "but that's useless if we don't know what we're supposed to say!"

"So you said 'friend' already?" Luffy asked.

Robin blinked, Friend she spoke.

The doors of Moria, the Dwarven kingdom of old, slowly opened to reveal their ancient secrets, whilst the heads of most of the other members of the Fellowship were bowed and their eyes shadowed. Robin's face was impassive, but inside she was gaping along with the rest of them in disbelief and shame. Sanji took a deep breath of narcotic, and with infinite patience raised his head, "We shall never speak of this again," the chef bluntly declared.

"Hey you guys," Luffy cried out with excitement as be bounced around, "I solved it! I solved the riddle!"

"Agreed!" chorused everyone but Zoro and Robin.

As they began to walk into Moria however, an ancient presence made itself known: tentacles like snakes slithered across the ground from the nearby lake, reaching towards the one who carried the One Ring…

…and then steely fingers grabbed the appendage.

"Hey look guys! Dinner!"

At those words the tentacle was frantically trying to pull away from the little man's grip, while Sanji casually strolled up with a smirk, listing the ways to cook tentacles while speculating on what particular creature it was.

"Ow! A meal before going in would be SUPER," Franky agreed.

 **-0-0-0-**

"Guys…where's Zoro?"

Everyone looked around at Chopper's words, and then took in the vast expanse of the…the word "caves" did not really do it justice. Basically a hollowed out mountain with nothing but countless walkways, passages, rooms, and other ways for a _normal_ person to get lost.

"ZORO!" screamed a panicking Chopper and Usopp.

"Don't worry about it, Mosshead will show up eventually," Sanji reassured them, after confirming the man was out of range of his Observation Haki. "And if he doesn't, who cares?" but they all knew even Sanji would care.

 **-0-0-0-**

Everyone wisely kept their distance from Robin as she coldly glared at the oncoming horde of goblins.

"Y'know I could just take 'em all out with Haki," Luffy offered.

"No, please, Captain. They, and whoever they live to warn, need a more clear demonstration of the consequences of their actions," the archaeologist requested, thinking of all the desecration these barbarians had committed. _All these priceless ruins. The greatest work by the Dwarves_ …

"Uhm, okay. We'll take care of these guys over here—"

Before Luffy could finish a massive hand had appeared out of nowhere to slap aside dozens of the little attackers, and more were growing out of the ground to continue the 'lesson.' Wincing at the seemingly endless cacophony of snapping bones, most of the others took care of the outliers.

As for Robin's Captain, he was just glad to see his friend protecting what she treasured, and then turned his attention towards those coming on his right and flexed his fingers and grinned.

 **-0-0-0-**

Once Robin had sated herself slaughtering the goblins, Nami turned her attention to other matters. The last party of Dwarves to come here only a few years ago, of which they had already found the dead remains, and spoken of finding treasure in what remained of their journal. Hence why she had saved one of the goblins from Robin's wrath.

"Mithiril! Where. Is. The. Mithiril!?" Nami quietly yet fiercely demanded to the lightning charred prisoner.

"Go to—" the goblin began before a force like a dropped anvil snapped his head down, "Be polite to the lady!" Sanji snarled.

 **-0-0-0-**

Across a chasm that stretched lengthwise for as far as the eye could see, was a thin speck of rock that served as a bridge, and upon it Zoro could be seen fighting a monster seemingly made of fire and shadow.

"See what'd I tell yah," Sanji drawled. "Heck, if it wasn't for that guy, he'd have probably wandered until he fell down into that pit."

"OW!" Franky boomed, "Look at that freaky sword of fire, that's SUUUPER!"

"And a whip of fire too, how interesting," Brook added.

"And the owner is a very interesting person as well," Robin smiled, appreciating his gothic appearance. "Maybe they'd like to come with us for a while?"

"Rooobin," Nami shuddered, "we're not taking someone like that with us!"

"Don't creep us out like that!" Usopp begged.

"Hmm, yeah, I dunno," Luffy muttered, and Robin let the matter drop, trusting her Captain's instincts. "Well, Zoro's having fun," Luffy noted, and indeed, even from here they could see his demonic grin despite the black sword he held between his teeth, "so let's have Breakfast!"

"We just had it," Sanji griped.

"Alright. Then we can have Second Breakfast!"

"…I really wish the Hobbits hadn't told you about their meal system."

 **-0-0-0-**

Everyone stared at the results of Zoro's battle. While the fiery-thingy had been beaten, the process had also destroyed the bridge. With the Fellowship stuck on the wrong side from the exit out of Moria.

"Great work, Zoro!" Nami snarled. "You destroyed the bridge! Now how're we supposed to get across!?"

"I can carry you and Robin across in my arms!" Sanji cried out with joy, while Franky was calculating how hard it would be to build a new bridge. Then they all realized something horrific: Luffy was being quiet.

" **GUM GUM ROCKET!** "

" **NOOOOOOO!** " everyone but Robin and Zoro screamed as their lunatic of a party leader propelled them across the bottomless chasm with his rubber body.

"We're gonna smash into the wall!"

"Don't worry, I'm made of rubber!"  
"We're not! And you're behind us!"

"Don't worry, it'll all work out!"

 **-0-0-0-**

Outside of the horror show that was Moria, everyone took a deep breath of relief.  
"After we're done with Mount Doom, let's go back through this way!"

"Not on your life!"

 **-0-0-0-**

 **Author Notes:**

 **The Straw Hats would really like the Hobbits I feel. Especially once they tell Luffy about how they have six meals a day: Breakfast, Second Breakfast, Elevenses, Luncheon, Afternoon Tea, Dinner, and Supper.**

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	4. Zoro the Dragon-Slayer

I do not own either One Piece or anything by Tolkien.

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One Hat to Rule them All

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Chapter 4: Zoro the Dragon-Slayer

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This story takes place in the 3rd Hobbit film as opposed to the Lord of the Rings movies, but, oh well.

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Gandalf the Grey raced upon his horse across the rocky ground that led to the mighty Lonely Mountain, the former home of the Dwarves and the recently deceased dragon Smaug. The wizard had commissioned a band of criminals to steal a legendary treasure from within that would allow Prince Thorin Oakenshield to be crowned King of the Dwarves and marshal his race's armies to crush the fire-drake. This way, the three final heirs of Durin, for Thorin's nephews would hardly stay home if their uncle headed off to reclaim their homeland, would be safe, with only a handful of thieves being risked.

 _Although I do hope they're alright_ , Gandalf sincerely wished, _such pleasant men and ladies_. _Even if they didn't seem to fully appreciate the challenge before them. True they seemed talented, yet mayhaps they were too excited about the challenges ahead of them?_

Regardless, word had spread that Smaug was dead, yet not before causing considerable damage to the nearby human town. Rumors were spreading throughout the land of the great deed done, of the vast horde of treasure that was only guarded now by nine people: the Straw Hats. Every power that could mobilize an army in time would be descending upon the Lonely Mountain to claim the wealth, or the region's strategic location, for their own.

Such as the countless numbers of Orcs that Gandalf knew were rapidly approaching, even if they were still unseen.

Bursting onto the streets of the once great city of Dale, Gandalf took in the number of armed and armoured Wood Elf soldiers, as well as humans who were presumably from the former Lake-town who were conducting weapons drills.

After a brief distraction with a stuck-up toad, the wizard found the man in charge of the city folk.

"What is going on here!?" Gandalf the Grey brusquely asked, gesturing around at the marching Wood Elf soldiers, and the obvious preparations for battle.

Bard, the new leader of the survivors of Lake-town after Zoro the Dragon-Slayer had saved the people, took a deep and frustrated breath before answering. "We approached the Straw Hats about receiving our payment for what was promised in helping them on their quest. It was to make it possible for us to rebuild. We would've also used it to repay the Elves for their generosity and saving us from starvation."  
Gandalf's eyes tightened minutely, surmising that Nami had been unwilling to part with a single golden coin once she had beheld the vast wealth of the Kingdom of Erebor. The rest of the Straw Hats would be unwilling to risk her wrath, and he suspected that more than one would welcome a fight in defending the mountain they had won.

"But it was all going surprisingly well," Bard continued, as if he could read the Wizard's thoughts. "While they had reservations about all the Elvish soldiers gathered here, they agreed that they owed us a debt, and expressed concern for our people, particularly the children. In fact, the initial problems with our discussion, and why they had not sent us help earlier, was because of an apparent misunderstanding…"

 **-0-**

 _"Seriously! What's your deal!?" the green-haired swordsman finally snarled with an ominous bulging vein on his forehead. "We left you plenty of food and treasure!"_

 _Stunned into silence, Bard could only gape at that, leading King Thranduil to take the lead, seeing the honest confusion on both humans' faces. "And where was this?"_

 _"The dragon!"_

 _…_

 _"…You mean you expected us to eat_ Smaug _!?" Bard finally got out, the elf beside him looking up at the new owners of the Lonely Mountain in disgust._

 _"Well what else were you going to do with all that ready meat?" the blonde haired man asked, seeming strangely insulted._

 _"And he had all that gold stuck in his scales!" the redhead with long tresses and tantalizing figure snapped. "Enough for a down-payment at the very least! Don't be so greedy!"_

 _"The dragon fell underwater, we couldn't get to it" Bard gave as a partial explanation, "but you're free to eat him instead of us if you so desire," especially since no man or woman formerly of Lake-Town wanted to_ touch _that corpse!_

 _"Zoro you idiot!" Nami screeched, barring dragon-like fangs as she punched the man who had felled the living nightmare of the entire region._

 _"Food waster!" snarled the blonde man as he lashed out kicks at the scowling dragonslayer who avoided the punches but slashed with his blades at the male, until all three stopped as a new voice broke in, "You really mean it!? We can eat the dragon!?" asked the one with a straw hat as the others quieted down._

 _"Yes," was the hesitant promise._

 _"Alright! Dragon meat tastes awesome!" with several others joining in, saying something about a 'Punk Hazard' or some other strange term, until the raven-haired woman quietly spoke up, but Bard caught a hint of the words "debt" and "friends.". "Oh right," the apparent leader said as he refocused on the army in front of the gate. "So how much do we owe you guys again?"_

 _"Are you sure the children are okay?" the little furry member added, with some of the others showing expressions of concern. "No one sick?"_

 _"The elves have been most helpful," Bard promised, while Thranduil was reconsidering the wisdom of pressuring these individuals over the issue of recovering a certain heirloom from the mountain. The burn scars hidden under his glamour were aching at the very thought of killing fire drakes just to eat them._

 **-0-**

"So once that was worked out everything was going fine," Bard continued to recount to the wizard who was growing increasingly impatient. Clearly he had misjudged these people, putting too much stock in their reputations.

Yet for some reason it still appeared like a war was about to happen.

"—and then their Captain Luffy ate the Elf King's elk during a lull in our talks. Claiming he thought it was a gift for a snack, and thus acceptable for cooking. It…went downhill from there."

Gandalf started smacking his forehead with his staff.

 **XXX**

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	5. No Living Man

I do not own either One Piece or anything by Tolkien.

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One Hat to Rule them All

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Chapter 5: No living man may hinder me!

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Like heroes of song and legend, the Riders of Rohan fought upon the Pelennor Fields before the besieged city of Gondor, fighting to preserve the future of man and the freedom of the West. Upon their horses they drove back the hordes of orcs, driving them towards the river even as King Théoden prepared to dispatch troops to enter the breached city to fight alongside the valiant defenders.

Victory seemed near, but then the smiles died from their faces as they took in the sight of the advancing line of the massive Oliphaunts. Fifteen meters tall, four massive tusks and two smaller ones, long noses, and feet that made them monstrous and intimidating. Still, Théoden and his lieutenants were sure their more nimble horses could avoid the weapons of the beasts. A war horn echoed from the lead rider of this new enemy, calling out a challenge even as the Oliphaunts charged even faster.

Yet despite this, despite his private fears, Théoden was not here to cower or retreat to hide in some hole for the rest of his life. He and his people were here to fight, and yes likely die, but fight they would, for they were warriors and their cause was just. He rallied his men into a line while their own horns blew, and gloriously his army went forth to meet this new foe.

Closer and closer they came together, until they were—

 _Something_ seemed to tremble in the air, and as one every Oliphaunt, every rider, and every nearby orc collapsed to the ground, frothing at the mouth.

Acting upon discipline and wary of the unknown, Théoden and his followers halted their horses, trying to figure out what had happened. A hint of movement caught their eyes, and they saw a small group of people, at first glance perhaps men, in strange finery, atop one of the downed creatures.

"HEY!" one called out in a loud voice. "WE BROUGHT THEM DOWN SO _WE'RE_ THE ONES WHO GET TO EAT THEM! OKAY?"

Silence was his answer as his audience was struck dumb by this change in fortune.

Only one amongst the Riders of Rohan was focused enough to rally his thoughts, for as a hobbit he easily found himself understanding this declaration. This marching around and fighting really put a crimp in one's proper eating habits, not to mention the sad rations. Shrewdly Merry Brandybuck took in the fallen horde, and then looked around at his riding companion towards the proud yet still imperiled city of Gondor. Loudly he called out to these strangers: "But what will you cook them with?"

"Merry!" hissed a shocked Éowyn.

He looked back and smiled up at her. "If there's one thing a hobbit knows and appreciates, it's the importance of a good meal!" Then she stiffened, and Merry whipped around to find himself face-to-face with what appeared to be a short but thin man, with a straw hat atop his black hair. Behind him was another man with blond hair covering one eye, and strange black clothes of a style that Merry had never seen before.

"What do you mean," the blonde haired man asked, his tone slightly challenging.

"Well, I mean you've got this massive amount of meat, but what are you going to do with it? Cut off some pieces and roast over a fire?" Merry jollily noted. "But back there in Gondor," pointing with a thumb over his shoulder, "I'll bet they've got loads of great seasonings that I'm sure they'd be glad to give." Then he gave the other seven newcomers –his recent experiences, including meeting a walking, talking a tree, had left him rather blasé about such unusual characters— a critical eye. "And I don't really see any plates or utensils either!"

"Huh, alright, I'll go ask for some of those," the slighter figure beamed with a smile that lit up his face. His voice was also that of the one who had staked his claim upon the giant monsters that Merry and his companions had nearly fought.

"They're a little busy with the invading orcs right now," Merry cautioned. "Do you think you could do something about them too?"

"Kay." And then the straw hat wearing youth just seemed to _glare_ in the direction of Gondor.

Whipping around, Merry and Éowyn took in the sight of the rest of the enemy army collapsing to the ground.

 **-0-0-0-**

The battle was over, the day was won, but then down came upon them an evil so foul, bent upon turning their joy to ash.

Seething at this loss upon the cusp of his triumph, the Witch-King of Angmar swooped down from the sky upon his Fell-Beast. He could not understand how this had happened, but given the arrival of the King of Rohan coincided with it, the fell spirit suspected him to be the cause. Even if he was wrong, the loss of such a beloved leader would sour mankind's triumph, turn it bitter.

Unerringly the creature struck at Théoden, knocking him off of his prized horse, while the Ringwraith's unearthly powers drove away those around his target, their love of their sire helpless before the fear that hounded at them. A voice whispered out from underneath the empty hood, like shadow and steel. **_Feast on his flesh_** , the Witch-King ordered as they looked down upon Théoden; slowly being crushed beneath his steed.

Slowly the Fell Beast moved forward, displaying its power and the impotence of those around it, yet then one stepped forward: Éowyn, the king's niece, who had forsaken her duties to fight where she felt she was most needed. Now, for the love of her lord and kin, she stood ready to challenge the Enemy's greatest lieutenant, her sheer strength of will enabling her to master herself and resist his dark sorcery. "I will kill you if you touch him!"

" ** _Do not come between the Nazgul and his prey_** ," her foe warned her, unwilling to lower himself to deal with such a lowly pest. Weakly Théoden struggled to stay conscious, wondering who his brave would-be saviour was, failing to see through Éowyn's disguise as a man.

The Fell Beast reared back to strike, when suddenly a flaming blur smacked its head back.

Before Éowyn stood one of the strangers who had intervened before, the blonde man with the strange black clothes. "How dare you try to hurt a lady!" he snarled, his foot seeming to glow with fire.

Out of flailing limbs and wings of his dead pet, the Witch-King stood tall. Silently he displayed his sword and mace, and with a screech he attacked.

With another screech he was knocked off his feet, metal crown dented as his assailant moved faster than any man had any right to.

Visibly wary, the Witch-King got back up while the stranger waited with hands in his pockets, standing between him and Éowyn. " ** _You fool_** ," it hissed. " ** _You cannot win. No man can kill me._** "

"Depends how much haki I put into it, doesn't it?" was the retort, and before anyone could wonder what "haki" was, the beating continued.

Again and again the man dressed in black hammered away at Lord of the Nazgûl with his feet, -his remarkably unremarkable feet, devoid of any metal even— and impossibly the dark creature was clearly hurting beneath these blows, despite being but a spirit. Rallying itself, the wraith shoved his assailant back with a battered black gauntlet. " ** _Fool, I said that no living man may hind—_** " he cut himself off as he took in the sight of the other newcomers who had arrived, particularly a walking skeleton with a large hairstyle and a bright pink shirt.

"…Excuse me," the skeleton coldly asked as he slowly unsheathed a hidden blade within the stick he carried, "are you perhaps implying that I'm no longer a man?"

Then the Witch-King took in the rest.

Two women, one with her arms crossed over her chest, while the other was spinning a blue staff. As the Nazgûl took in how unafraid and even a little amused they were of him, a possible new interpretation regarding the prophecy depicting his immortality occurred to him, even as he saw the inhuman –none of whom could be described as a "man"— beings.

A furry creature walking on two legs, wearing strange bright clothes, who suddenly swelled to become several times taller and broader with short muscular arms. His eyes determined beneath his horns.

A massive blue being with tusks coming out of its mouth, its bestial appearance contrasting with the fine yet exotic clothes it wore.

What appeared to be an unnaturally massive man, but his arms and shoulders were as inhuman as his unbuttoned shirt was bright. His expression was loud and proud as he flexed his body into a pose.

" ** _Oh, dear…_** "

 **-0-0-0-**

"We are in your debt," Éomer, the king's nephew and heir, promised. Off to the side, the furry one was tending to their king, having shouted down anyone who had tried to interfere. Given how Théoden was still alive, against all expectations, Éomer saw no reason to protest. He _was_ however concerned for his sister.

After throwing a spear into the face of the Witch-King to ensure the broken figure could not escape, the…ladies amongst these strangers had started talking to Éowyn, and praising her for showing men that women could fight as well. The rate that they were becoming friends, and exchanging ideas, chilled Éomer's spine in a way he could not recognize.

"Ah, it was no biggie," the apparent leader of this little band assured him. "My name is Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm going to be the King of the Pirates!"

Éomer and his soldiers stiffened at this, but after a few quick questions it became apparent that these 'pirates' had no interest, or knowledge whatsoever, in either Rohan or Gondor. Frankly, all they wanted was a party and those seasonings that the hobbit – _Bright little fellow_ , Éomer commended. _Good thing he snuck along too!_ — had offered.

"I should warn you however," he cautioned his new…allies? "The meat of those who serve the Enemy is likely to be foul."

"…What?"

 **-0-0-0-**

"Well of course Sauron would ensure that the meat of his creatures would go bad," Gandalf the White lectured as if it were obvious. "Corrupting nature like that, as well as denying us a food supply? Why, he would do all of that without a second thought!"

The wizard was quite frustrated at the moment, since he was dealing with beings of obviously significant power, yet both the extent of it, and their intentions, were unknown. Moreover, given by all of the questions the long-nosed teen was spouting, it was also clear they were strangely oblivious to the nature of Middle Earth. There was also the problem of the fallen army.

The revelation that all of the orcs and trolls were merely unconscious had been worrisome, especially since these 'Straw Hats,' after their leader's apparent symbol of leadership, had opposed the notion of parties of men going out to slit the throats of the fallen before they awoke. Arguments like "Because they're orcs!" or "They're born evil!" or "Can't you _see_ how monstrous they look!?" had been disturbingly ineffectual.

That said, no one was pushing the issue anymore after what had happened after the trolls had awoken. Gandalf had done a few covert spells, and he was confident the polite, blue one had no dark magic about him, despite his appearance, but the wizard was still unsure about the green-haired one with the three swords. _That bloodthirsty smile_ … he worried. Regardless, the two of them had single-handily defeated the trolls with chilling ease, while their friends cheered as spectators. The blonde one, who had been busy examining various spices with a practiced eye, had even been visibly agitated at missing out on the fight.

The orcs however…

The orcs were (relatively) more intelligent than the trolls, but the lack of aggression they were displaying was very unusual. In fact, they all appeared to be focusing their terror-filled faces upon Luffy, who was glaring up at Gandalf.

"So you're saying he raises all of these animals, but then he makes sure you can't eat their meat!?"

"Yes," the wizard answered.

"I found some of their rations," the skeleton informed them as he walked up with a rancid smelling bag held in front of him, while two fingers in his other hand were shoved up his nostril slits. "The smell makes me wish I had no nose! Oh, wait, I don't have a nose! Skull joke!" and then he burst out laughing until he slapped his hand back over his face to cut off the odor again. "But what these orcs eat still stinks enough to move the dead! Yo ho ho!"

"Alright then," Luffy said quietly, his bowed head and hat covering his eyes, but the skeleton immediately stood to attention while his leader walked towards the horde of orcs.

Standing in front of them, he took a deep breath and roared out. "HEY! THEY TELL ME YOU'RE ALL EVIL! BUT I KNOW WHAT'S REALLY WRONG! YOU'VE JUST BEEN FED BAD MEAT ALL THIS TIME! SO LET'S GO TO MORDOR TO MAKE THAT GUY PAY!"

Every jaw within earshot dropped to the ground, along with Gandalf's pipe.

 **-0-0-0-**

"Oh, well that's lovely. Should we start killing them now while we have a chance?" Gimli the dwarf resignedly asked after Luffy explained that it appeared Sauron was doing something to keep the stranger from using his "Conqueror's Haki" or whatever, when they were right in front of the Gates of Mordor. He was hefting his axe while glaring at their 'allied' orcs whose 'loyalty' had been heavily questioned even before this revelation. Frankly, the only reason he was not more eager was because he was probably going to die today regardless.

Guritz, an orc captain who had in a burst of insight removed the human skull from atop his helmet, quickly tried to reassure him. "No, we're more afraid of them than Sauron! We will fight alongside you!"

"You go first," Gimli darkly ordered, gesturing at the horde of orcs who had been attempting to ravage Gondor and were now standing beside the armies of man.

"I think we already are," another orc nervously broke in.

Before them, the ten Straw Hats were marching towards the massive gate to Mordor, with three in particular walking in front.

Having reached the black monstrosity, Zoro stepped aside and swung his sword up, the resulting cut reaching all the way up to the top before a bewildered audience. Then he walked to the left and repeated it. After all, there was no reason for his Captain to walk in anything but a straight line.

Having reached the part that was cut free but still standing tall, both Sanji and Jinbe each gave it a hefty kick to send it flying backwards, crushing enemies underneath.

As if in waiting from within Mordor itself, three armoured trolls immediately leapt up and over the gatecrashers, aiming for Luffy.

One suddenly went flying to the side in a flurry of giant hands, and fell to the ground with a flexibility that bespoke of a snapped spine.  
A metal blue fist knocked another away without ever stepping in front of the still quietly walking Luffy.

The last slid to the side on a patch of ice, covered in cuts.

"Oh my goodness," Chopper cried as they stood astride of what was now just a fallen chunk of metal. "Look at that guy on the horse! His teeth! I've never seen such terrible dental hygiene!"

"Chopper!" Usopp hissed. "Don't ruin it!"

"Oh, right, sorry," the doctor whispered back. This was a Captain's moment after all.

"SAURON OF THE BAD MEAT! GET OUT HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR BUTT!"

 **-0-0-0-**

"The eagles aren't for eating! The eagles aren't for eating!" Gandalf frantically cried while waving his arms. "They're our allies! Don't shoot them down!"

 **-0-0-0-**

As if in a dream, King Aragorn of Gondor walked forward to see Arwen, the Evenstar, his love. Carrying a white banner of Gondor, while she too stepped forward to embrace him, and in all of the world there was only the two of them as they locked eyes. Finally, after all these years, they—

"Wow, what a hottie!"

The chef Sanji was suddenly standing between Aragorn and Arwen, gyrating his body in a way that others found shocking and painful to look at, but the couple were too stupefied to notice.

"Hello, love. Do you want me to make you a nice private dinner? We could—"

He was suddenly heaved back as Nami caught up and dragged him away by his ear. "Read the mood, you idiot!"

Off to the side, Chopper and Franky were yelling similar things and threatening to beat up Sanji for ruining something so romantic, while the others were just laughing.

 **-0-0-0-**

"No," Elrond calmly explained, "that will not be possible. Only immortals are able to sail to Valinor, the Land of the Valar." These people were sadly uneducated, even for men, in the ways of the gods.

"But you elves are going to this Gray Haven to sail there," the blank faced youth argued.

"Yes, but as both the first to be made by the Valar, and as immortals, elves are free to do so, if they so choose," Elrond elaborated, bracing himself for another futile argument with a man jealous of he and his kin.

"…FRANKY!"

"OW! You got it Captain! I'll start building us a ship right away!"

 **-0-0-0-**

Frodo Baggins, the former Ringbearer, opened the door after being disturbed from a nice nap while Sam and his wife Rosie Cotton were out having a picnic.

"Ah, Mr. Baggins. We're sorry to inconvenience you, but could we rest here for a little while?"

The Ringbearer blinked at the sight of about a dozen elves lined up in front of his door, and he suspected they went down the hill and lane. They all looked distinctly harried as well, with their long hair disheveled. _In fact, it almost looks like it's messed up from constantly looking over their shoulders…_

"It is still a journey of several days to Rivendell," the spokesman continued to explain, "and we are in need of a rest. Also, many of our brethren have come back ashore, so I believe that there will not be much available space there in the foreseeable future."

"But, where are you coming from?" Frodo asked in confusion. "If you're going to Rivendell, through the Shire, then you could've only come from…the Gray Havens," he finished in horror.

"Things have become rather…hectic," the elf managed, "in Valinor right now."

His face a mask of self-control, Frodo held up a finger. "One condition."

"Agreed."

…Consenting without even knowing what Frodo was going to ask of them. Lovely. "If it's related to the Straw Hats, I don't want to know."

"Done!" was the quick, too quick, answer, and all of the elves seemed to sigh in relief.

"Well, come in," the habits of one raised as a gentlehobbit coming to the fore, "I'll get some tea on and then start to find a place for all of you to sleep."

Uncle Bilbo had put up with thirteen dwarves and a wizard, some –what, four dozen so far?— elves seemed doable.

 **-0-0-0-**

 **Author Notes:**

 **The part about bad meat is something that just came to me, although I can honestly see Sauron doing something like that. As for orc eating habits, they really will eat about anything…**

 **I know that orcs are meant to be evil, but I doubt after the reason why Ace was condemned to death, or after facing the prejudice against the Fishmen, that the Straw Hats would just accept orcs as evil. And no, I am not an orc apologist, I just thought it would be hilarious to do it this way.**

 **-0-**

 **Please Review, and I will get back to you!**


	6. To the King

I do not own either One Piece or anything by Tolkien.

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Lots of thanks to rose7anne101 for beta reading this and helping me with my writing! Make sure to check out their own hilarious work!

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This story takes place in the 3rd Hobbit film as opposed to the Lord of the Rings movies, but, oh well.

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By the tens of thousands, the sailors of the World Government amassed upon the shores of Raftel. Before the sealed gates leading to the fabled One Piece, Trafalgar Law struggled to organise the remnants of the pirate fleets who come, forming them into a cohesive defensive line. _So this is it_ , he grimaced. _Where_ are _you Straw Hat-ya? Luffy_. _I know you haven't abandoned us, but where_ are _you!?_

The Will of D could not falter here. Not now.

"Not yet!" Fleet Admiral Akainu ordered from the rear of the Marines. "Wait…Wait…" and then his Giants strode forward to the front of the ranks, ready to crush the criminals beneath their feet and weapons. "Attack! Now!" the fanatic yelled, resplendent in his white suit and coat, the latter billowing in the wind from his shoulders.

With a roar the marines charged forward, ready to destroy the One Piece and forever end the threat it posed.

 ** _HRRH HRRRRRRNN HRRH HRRRRRRRRRRRNN_**

Long and proud the horn note sang through the air, the fullness of it stopping the advance in their tracks and snatching the attention of all who heard it.

With a massive blast of sound and air, the gates of Raftel were ripped off of their hinges and flung right into the marines, as the mighty and proud _Thousand Sunny_ , chosen stead of the ruler of the seas, burst through the opening.

Off of the bow leapt the Straw Hat Pirates, while from the lion figurehead down soared Monkey D. Luffy in the lead.

As one, the Marines felt themselves taking a step back at the sight, and Akainu snarled with frustration and hate. _Why won't they just accept Justice!?_ The Pirates in front of the Straw Hats stepped hurriedly aside to clear a path for the nine warriors, "TO THE KING!" Trafalgar Law yelled at the top of his lungs. "TO THE KING!"

One and all the Pirates obeyed, for while they were the _Free_ , at their head was a man who was friend and family to each and every one of them. In this hour they would fight and live by his side, as they knew in their hearts he would do for them.

The enemy Giants leading the assault were struck down at range before even engaging, and seemingly unstoppable, Luffy continued to lead the charge. Like a breaker through a white wave, the Pirates tore through the Navy.

 **XXX**

"The Pirates," Momonosuke breathed out as the rag-tag army mowed he marines, "…they're rallying."  
"They're rallying to their King," Rayleigh smirked, readying himself to join the fray in the name of the new king.

 **XXX**

 **Author Notes:  
Honestly, it was this scene that first got me thinking about doing this sort of story. **

**-0-**

 **Please Review!**


	7. The Silmarillion

I do not own either One Piece or anything by Tolkien.

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Beta read by Thisisarealtagwhy, make sure to check out his own crossover!

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One Hat to Rule them All

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Chapter 7: The Silmarillion

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"Garp," Coby the Hobbit nervously asked the wizard as they walked through Rivendell, "can you tell me about Pirate King Luffy, and…this." He held up the Straw Hat, the fearsome object for which Sengoku, ruler of this Navy fortress and city, was gathering marines from all corners to discuss strategy with. The Straw Hat had to be destroyed to ensure the Pirate King's demise, but they needed a solid plan to do so.

For his part, Garp the Grey groaned in frustration. He did _not_ want to give a snot-nosed brat a lecture. But it would be unfair to _not_ tell Coby something about the Hat, especially since ignorance had led the pink-haired lad to already put on the Straw Hat, nearly killing him in the process. Smoker had already chewed Garp out for that, respect or no, about how ignorant Coby and his manservant Helmeppo had been. With a sigh, Garp grudgingly conceded defeat. "I guess there really isn't too much known about the King of the Pirates, or you'd've just heard silly myths and stories about them." Then he perked up as he figured out a way to pass the buck. "Follow me!"

He led Coby to 'Senny's' personal library (getting mud on the carpet from his boots), and ruffled through the bookcase to find what he wanted. Coby rushed to catch the ones Garp threw over his shoulder because they were in his way, until the venerable wizard finally found what he was looking for. "Here," he ordered as she shoved the thick tomb of a book into Coby's hands. "If you've got any questions, let me know."

Before he could make his escape however, Coby nervously exclaimed, "The whole thing!?" It really _was_ a thick bundle of dead trees.

Taking pity, Garp snatched the history book back, and flipped through to near the end until he opened it up to a handy enough page, and thrust it all back. "This should do." With his sense of duty fulfilled, Garp plopped down into the nearest chair, and was asleep before Coby could stammer another word, pointedly and loudly snoring.

Stumbling a little under the weight, Coby got the book to a table and set it down. Taking a deep breath, he started to read it aloud, starting with the title of the book. " _The Silmarillion_."

" _From that time war never ceased between Luffy and the Navy;_ " he spoke with awe, " _and Eregion was laid waste, and Celebrimbor slain. In that time the stronghold and refuge of Imladris, that Men called Rivendell, was founded by_ _Sengoku the Buddha_ _; and long it endured. But Luffy had gathered into his hands the Straw Hat of Power; giving him the ability to influence all other peoples of Middle-earth, hoping thus to bring under his sway all those that desired secret power beyond of the measure of their kind. Seven cups of loyalty he gave to seven Monsters; but to Men he gave nine, for Men proved in this matter as in others the readiest to his will._ " Coby paused in concern at this and what it implied, but continued.

 _"_ _And all those gifts he gave out he perverted, the more easily from the power of the Straw hat, and they were accursed, and they betrayed in the end all those that accepted them. The Monsters indeed proved tough and hard to tame; such creatures ill endure the domination of others, and the thoughts of their hearts are hard to fathom, nor can they be turned to shadows_."

 **XXX**

"But if I drink this stuff…" Luffy said, "…then I have to be the captain commander…of this big fleet, don't I?"

"Exzackly!" cried out Bartoloemo with his green hair and fiendish long fangs, renowned as 'the Cannibal.' "With an armada of 5,600 at yer beck and call, you'll be one of the _greatest_ of pirates! After all, you're gonna be the Pirate King one day, Mistah Luffy! Even _this_ ain't enough for you ta conquer the world with!"

But Luffy continued to glare at the seven inhuman figures before him.

"Why, Luffy?!" boomed Orlumbus, a massive figure far larger than a human. "How can this much power not be enough?! Even the strongest of men cannot match the power of numbers! There will come a time when you'll need us!"

"It'll cramp my style," scowled Luffy.

"Whaaat?! Why does he look so unhappy?!" gasped as one the seven offering their services.

"More importantly," Luffy changed tack, "are they getting ready for a party back there?"

"His attention has moved to food!"

"Enough nonsense," exclaimed Cavendish, who only appeared as a Man, but harboured within him the demon Hakuba. He rambled a bit, but finished with "Don't you see what it means that I will affiliate myself with you?!"

"Let's grab him and pour it down his throat," glowered Ideo with his explosive fists and long arms that had two joints apiece.

"You disrespectin' your followers' power?! You're gonna get it, saviour!" threatened Don Sai as he ominously hefted his gleaming spear. His body was weirdly portioned, and his foot could crack a continent.

" **Listen** ," screamed Luffy, " **I just wanna be the Pirate King, that's all! I've got no interest in being some poofty big shot!"**

 **XXX**

There was more however about the fate of those seven Monsters.

" _They used their positions only for the getting of wealth; but wrath and an overmastering greed of gold were kindled in their hearts, of which evil enough after came to the profit of Luffy. It is said that the foundation of each of the Seven Kingdoms of Monsters of old was a small cup; but all those hoards long ago were plundered and the Neptunians devoured them, and of the Seven Cups some were lost to ocean floors and some Luffy recovered_."

Coby shivered in thought of those fearsome beings the Dark Lord had seduced into his service.

 **XXX**

"If I ever think we're in trouble," Luffy declared, "I'll shout for your help! Then you can come save us! I don't have to be a boss or a great lord, right?! If you're in trouble, call for us! We'll come and help you! I won't forget about how we fought Mingo together!"  
"Okay…" Bartolomeo breathed out. "I think I know what you're sayin'. To Mistah Luffy, bein' the Pirate King…isn't some super important bigshot…but someone that's…free!?

"Why…I…" sobbed Bartolomeo. "I can't help but admire you all the more, Luffy sir!"

"Dee ga ga ga ga gag a!" laughed the giant Hajrudin. "Same here! Oi, Bartolomeo! Let's get things started! There's no need for him to swear his oath of protection to us anyways."

"You do have a point," smirked Cavendish.

"It's better if both sides just do what they feel is best," agreed Ideo.

"Something tells me you're not the type of guy to prevent another from exercising his free will," Sai grinned.

"Hm?" gasped Leo the Dwarf, the last of their number. "Actually, you're right!"

As one they reached for their seven cups of sake.

As one they swore their oaths of fealty to the future King of the Pirates.

(Zoro had already drained the cup that was meant for Luffy)

 **XXX**

Steeling himself, Coby read more into the history of the owner of the Straw Hat.

" _Men proved easier to ensnare. Those who accepted his gifts became mighty in their day, kings, sorcerers, and warriors of old. They obtained glory and great wealth, yet it turned to their undoing. They had, as it seemed, unending life, yet life became unendurable to them. They could walk, if they would, unseen by all eyes in this world beneath the sun, and they could see things in worlds invisible to mortal men; but too often they beheld only the phantoms and delusions of Luffy_."

At this point Coby had to marshal himself again. He understood what the text was hinting at, for upon wearing the Straw Hat he had glimpsed the true forms of the Nazgûl beneath their cloaks; who and what they truly were. It was if they existed in a world parallel to this world, using those garments to hide their true nature from regular people. _And what does that imply about what I saw about them?_ For with each moment Coby had gazed upon them, they could be either beings of beauty of wonder, figures that he could well envision as warriors and leaders of old. But then they would become horrific and alien, their wrath devouring any trace of humanity.

" _And one by one, sooner or later, according to their native strength and to the good or evil of their wills in the beginning, they fell under the thraldom of the gifts they bore and under the domination of the Straw Hat, which was Luffy's. And they became for ever invisible save to him that wore the Straw Hat, and they entered into the realm of shadows. The Nazgûl were they, the Ringwraiths, the Enemy's most terrible servants; darkness went with them, and they cried with the voices of the dead_."

 **XXX**

"You idiot!" Nami screeched as she socked the Pirate King over his head. "Look at this mess!"

"Sorry, Nami," Luffy whimpered, lying on the ground admits a mess of beach supplies he had dropped when he had tripped, cradling his now aching head from her fist.

Happy to use their Captain as a scapegoat, Usopp and Chopper started to tip-toe away before the navigator turned her wrath upon them.

Robin giggled from beside her surrogate sister, both tanning themselves beneath the gorgeous sun, stunning in their bikinis. Circling around them scampered Sanji, shamelessly begging to apply sunscreen to them.

"Like they want _your_ hands touching them," Zoro deadpanned.

"What was that!?" snarled Sanji, throwing a flaming kick at the swordsman.

Ignoring the habitual fight, Brook snatched the out of the air the bottle of sunscreen that had gone flying, and started applying the solution to his bones.  
"Pass it over when you're finished?" Franky asked, grinning beneath his shades.

"Of course," Brook promised, while quietly planning his next musical composition. The way the sun was hitting the water, the plant-life around them, it was all tugging at his musical spirt, to the point that he could not even spare the time to ogle the ladies. First he had to apply sunscreen however, lest his skin burnt. _Oh wait…Yo ho ho ho!_  
Grinning with contentment, Jinbe walked out of the water, dragging a massive fish that would serve for dinner, giving his own small chuckle at the sight of Nami now chasing after Luffy after he had said the wrong thing while trying to defend himself. _Ah, this is the life!_

 **XXX**

"So that's it then," Coby declared aloud. "That's what Garp wanted me to understand. The enemy before us is insidious and sly, able to corrupt even the purest to his ambitions. Turning them into creatures of darkness, slaves to his barest whim. No matter what the cost, we must see to it that he is defeated at last, once and for all!"

With that fiery conviction in his mind, Coby stormed out of the library, determined to find a way to help contribute to the final downfall of the Dark Lord.

Back in the chair, Garp gave another ear-piercing snore.

 **XXX**

 **Author Notes:**

 **The 'history' parts are copied from the original** ** _Silmarillion_** **, with my own adaptation. The power of the writing, even for something as relatively dry as this, really drives home to me what a master writer like Tolkien is capable of. Anywhere it seems weaker, is on me.**

From that time war never ceased between Sauron and the Elves; and Eregion was laid waste, and Celebrimbor slain, and the doors of Moria were shut. In that time the stronghold and refuge of Imladris, that Men called Rivendell, was founded by Elrond Half-elven; and long it endured. But Sauron gathered into his hands all the remaining Rings of Power; and he dealt them out to the other peoples of Middle-earth, hoping thus to bring under his sway all those that desired secret power beyond of the measure of their kind. Seven rings he gave to the Dwarves; but to Men he gave nine, for Men proved in this matter as in others the readiest to his will. And all those rings that he governed he perverted, the more easily since he had a part in their making, and they were accursed, and they betrayed in the end all those that used them. The Dwarves indeed proved tough and hard to tame; they ill endure the domination of others, and the thoughts of their hearts are hard to fathom, nor can they be turned to shadows. They used their rings only for the getting of wealth; but wrath and an overmastering greed of gold were kindled in their hearts, of which evil enough after came to the profit of Sauron. It is said that the foundation of each of the Seven Hoards of the Dwarf-kings of old was a golden ring; but all those hoards long ago were plundered and the Dragons devoured them, and of the Seven Rings some were consumed by fire and some Sauron recovered.

Men proved easier to ensnare. Those who used the Nine Rings became mighty in their day, kings, sorcerers, and warriors of old. They obtained glory and great wealth, yet it turned to their undoing. They had, as it seemed, unending life, yet life became unendurable to them. They could walk, if they would, unseen by all eyes in this world beneath the sun, and they could see things in worlds invisible to mortal men; but too often they beheld only the phantoms and delusions of Sauron. And one by one, sooner or later, according to their native strength and to the good or evil of their wills in the beginning, they fell under the thraldom of the ring that they bore and under the domination of the One, which was Sauron's. And they became for ever invisible save to him that wore the Ruling Ring, and they entered into the realm of shadows. The Nazgûl were they, the Ringwraiths, the Enemy's most terrible servants; darkness went with them, and they cried with the voices of the dead.

 **I removed the section "and the doors of Moria were shut," if only because it was a Dwarven mine, and Luffy gets along fine with the Dwarfs of One Piece. Just avoiding confusion.**

 **Some of the One Piece stuff got altered too, but yes I was really struck with how I could work in the Grand Fleet. That said, I am confident it will grow beyond seven of them :-) As for the kingdom bit, we have just learnt that Cavendish is a former prince, and Hajrudin seeks the crown of the giants, so why not more of them :-P And that their kingdoms fell was just marine propaganda ;-P**

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 **Please review, and I will get back to you.**


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